Episode V: The Safety Report Strikes Back
November, 2004: Elmendorf AFB, Alaska. I’m filling out the safety report for a recent incident that landed me in the 3rd Medical Group’s emergency room on Halloween dressed as a bum with my buddy Brian sitting next to me dressed as the Taliban. We got a few looks.
As I answer the required questions, some give me pause. The incident was on duty, alcohol wasn’t involved, I hadn’t been deployed that year, I was putting up Halloween decorations in the flight…
I reach that last question, and look up at my supervisor.
“Have you discussed with me how to avoid an incident like this in the future?” I ask.
She rolls her eyes and frowns.
“Don’t eat any more thumb tacks.*”
-Farva
*Based on the comments so far, I’ll go ahead and add that while the photo, and the story, are 100% authentic, the whole thing was a ridiculously stupid accident. I didn’t actually eat thumb tacks by choice. The tale of how they ended up in there is no less stupid than if I had, but seeing as it’s too funny to not include in the comic some day, I won’t tell it right now.
Again, Star Wars characters © Lucasfilm.
November 12th, 2008 at 12:06 am
I just had to fill out the supervisor’s block on a safety incident too in which one of my MSgts ended up in the hospital…my sarcastic comments that I, no joke, turned in: Entire section was briefed that they could no longer participate in pickup games of basketball off-duty.
November 12th, 2008 at 12:09 am
Dude, tell me you’re kidding about the thumbtacks. You can’t have been stupid enough to have done that sober.
November 12th, 2008 at 1:20 am
HAHAHAHAH. Awesome!
November 12th, 2008 at 1:49 am
I had to fill out one earlier this year when my Airman was hit by a car when he was crossing the street. He totally did everything rignt and it was broad daylight so there wasn’t anything he could have done differently the moron driver should have to learn how to drive. No serious damage, thank God, but when I got to that block I looked up at him and said “Um, you’re not allowed to live near any more morons - K?”
November 12th, 2008 at 2:25 am
are you for real?
November 12th, 2008 at 3:32 am
During an exercise, I was assisting a walking “wounded” when suddenly the jerk decides “I can’t walk anymore” and collapses against me while I have my arm around his shoulders. It wouldn’t have been a problem, except the guy is about three inches taller and outweighs me be 75 lbs. I also had my Kevlar vest and helmet on, so when I took that vest off later and took the pressure off my shoulder, it swelled and I lost the ability to move it for a few hours.
My Flt CC’s suggestion for the supervisor block? “Next time push the a**hole away, and sweep your leg under his to make sure he doesn’t try to grab onto you.”
So I assume you fell and maybe got a thumbtack stuck in your lip? Lol poor poor Farva…
November 12th, 2008 at 7:32 am
So the question I know many are dying to ask is: How’d they feel comming out?
November 12th, 2008 at 8:49 am
Several years ago, I was reviewing a safety report on an Airman who broke his arm when his golf cart overturned. (I believe alcohol was involved, but I’m old and my brain doesn’t work so good any more.) My suggestion was “Start walking when you play!”
November 12th, 2008 at 9:13 am
Oh man this one is funny. I love it, this and the one where he’s being asked about more bullets because destroying the deathstar, although a good bullet, is still only one bullet. Keep em’ comming!
November 12th, 2008 at 10:20 am
I’m a safety rep and fill those things out a couple times a month. You would NOT believe the some of the dumb things supervisors and commanders say in their respective blocks. It always brings out a laugh in the safety office though. Sorry to see what happened though. Don’t feel bad, at least you didn’t present to a civilian ER with an adult toy up somewhere that you couldn’t get out or turn off!!!!
November 12th, 2008 at 10:29 am
I took a lot of ribbing from last month when I twisted my ankle playing laser tag. **chuckle** And yes, as a safety rep I did fill out the form and submit it to our squadron safety manager. He got a laugh out of that one.
November 12th, 2008 at 10:33 am
3 things in life… birth, death, and tacks!
November 12th, 2008 at 11:05 am
I was just calming down from laughing at Farva when I read Crypto’s post and…..what the?! Please tell me it wasnt you Crypto! (of course you probably won’t say, can’t blame you)