This one goes out to all the Security Forces Defenders out their working long hours, through their weekends and holidays to keep our bases secure. I know y’all put up with a lot of shit the rest of us don’t have to deal with, so keep up the great work.
I’m desperately trying to fight off the onset of what feels like the flu, so I’m going to let the NyQuil take over and knock me out. There’s no way in hell I’m going to let some bug keep me down during a long weekend.
See y’all again on Memorial Day. If I’m able to update the Member’s Section over the weekend, which I intend to, I’ll Tweet it.
Oh, by the way, from personal experience, getting jacked up doesn’t really start out as respectful as it did in today’s comic. I’m willing to bet it says somewhere in the official Air Force Security Forces handbook, or whatever they have, that the proper method for taking someone down is “Immediately force feed them concrete, then find out who they are and what they’re doing,” which makes perfect sense in this line of work. But trust me – you don’t want to be the idiot on the receiving end of that procedure.
-Farva
me are stoopid. i’ve just now noticed that you’ve started to do the xkcd “mouseover tag” thing.
18 year olds with semi-automatic weapons with strict orders, a very ugly thing.
Been there, done that, hear a round being chambered-kinda got my attention, if you know what I mean.
Probably should have listened the first time.
It’s the universal language attention getter…
FIRRRRSSS…..pfft!
I visited Osan during a “Security Exercise” one time…Fiasco would be too kind. At the gate the guard was wearing wargear & camo paint. Also a gold bracelet, puple nail polish and purple lipstick. Concealment/mindset FAIL. It went downhill from there. I had a group of (Linux) Sysads with me, and THEY were spotting gaping holes in the procedures/behavior… (got a couple of good stories from that one)
Thats what happens when amateurs do security.
Wow…still mad about that ticket you got awhile back Mr. Expert?
Ticket? You must have me confused with someone else, but it is nice that you recognise my skill set and obvious talent
Heh, we had one of our new SSgts yell at an SP at the gate for having her hands in her pockets of her gortex…it was freakin’ COLD out! If I was her, I’d been like, “full random vehicle search”!
When I was at K. I. Sawyer, we had a Squid F-14 (I think) come in for the air show. The day he was leaving he crossed the “red line”. Needless to say, he had an M-16 at the back of his head has he was face down on the tarmac. He wrote a scathing letter to the AF Times about ” the indignities he suffered”. The Wing King responded, if my failing memory serves me something to the effect ” You crossed the red line, the airman did his job”. You had to love SAC!
You definetly didn’t mess around with anyone on the line in the SAC. You wouldn’t have to worry about the cops, the maintennance guys would mess you up and then hand you over, lol.
SAC didn’t play…
HAHA, HOOAH! I remember training with an old Security Forces airman and he was just like that… I think he rubbed off on me a little too because I tend to enjoy my security job a little too much too… I like the hinged handcuffs muwahahahaha!
I haven’t been on the receiving end but I do know it is quite hilarious when it is a “not so liked” member of your squadron.
Wait! Sorry! FIRRRRSSS…
IMHO
My friend, I looked up IMHO and Optimus on acronym finder..
Looks like you are using this version!
In My Hesitating Opinion
Um…huh?
Go schedule an appointment at the International Medical Health Organisation (IMHO) and maybe they can straighten you out.
LOL glad to know I’m not the only one who doesn’t always understand RobertM’s micro-machines-speak. I feel like Marlin in Finding Nemo…”I know you’re trying to tell me something, but I just can’t figure out what it is!!!”
I watch that movie at least once a day…my kids LOVE IT!
Now Farva, who gave you our SF handbook of “official” rules… We call it how we see it, and sometimes if you are on the unlucky side of things, well….hope you remember better next time.
Damn straight! Only time we actually DO something! Break it! Break it!
It’s like being a little kid again, I dare you to cross THIS line!
Our handbook actually says to walk them over to the nearest puddle, then lay them out. :p
Dear…I think we worked together!
Now we have to revise the rule book its been compromised! great comic today gentlmen
We may or may not have accidentally sent some folks out to the line during a movement hold when the Prez came to visit…yeah, the driver and the guy riding shotgun got jacked up pretty good….by the Secret Service…
i’m sure most of you all flyboys are already aware of this, there’s a new hypersonic record … nevertheless, it’s still pretty damn sweet:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100527/ap_on_sc/us_hypersonic_flight
Ah, the stories. During a NORE last year we had a guy come into the gate and get jacked up because he tried to fix his line badge where the signature was warn down from sliding it out of the holder. He was on the ground stripped to his sand t-shirt, and socks in 40* weather and rain. Just recently we had a pilot get jacked up, along with his entire family because he decided to break red while taking them to look at an A/C. Before it’s asked, it was a tour that was cleared a head of time.
50% of the time, news of those pre-approved tours of the flightline doesn’t get down to the young airmen sitting on the ramp until well after all members of the party are laying on the pavement. Communication is a wonderful thing.
No, they knew about the tours, the pilot just thought he could do as he wanted.
Damn, Barbie! Does every order personnel follow has to be about you? You’re like the Mexicans and Arizona’s SB 1070! You’re not the only one being watched. You know how many Jihhadis live among the many Arabs in Phoenix? The place looks like Riyadh on a slow day. Hell, at least one 9/11 suicide pilot took flight lessons there!
In anther time and place
Nellis AFB, Red Flag Exercise 1989 briefing: Cross only at the candy stripe. Don’t cross the red line, you’ll trip sensors and several AFSPs with loaded M-16A2 set to semi will make you eat tarmac…
Again: Cross only at the candystripe….
We wondered how serious they were about this warning up until our last day there. Some dolt from another visiting squadron went to do some check on his squadron’s birds… and we saw two AFSPs (sans berets but with bulky bulletproof vests beneath their BDUs) swoop down on him and serve him a faceful of tarmac. So paralyzingly scary that you don’t want to watch, but can’t turn away, either!
But then again, asses don’t get hit by random flying crap, they make their own.
Which reminds me that I’m starting augmentee duty in a few weeks.
Crap…me too.
Well, them’s the rules. To bad every one gets pissed off for us doing our job. : / This is most likely the reason we don’t mind doing it at non-nuc bases
I’ve seen Jars enjoying this work too, God bless ‘em, can be kind amusin to watch an instructor demonstrate the incorrect way to retrieve sheets of NOFORN that wasn’t secured to his clipboard.
Reminds me of a time in ‘Nam when I had perimeter guard and a Butterbar out of ROTC/OCS confused the challenge. The first was the rack back of the 50′s bolt then “Place your ID card on the deck, step back 5 paces and lie down” Did I mention it was during the monsoons and there was a minimum of 6″ of mud? Our Regimental CO came out and after hearing what transpired, liftted the El-T’s head, said “I don’t recognized him either – let him stay there till dawn”. Loved our RCO (who later became Commandant).
My best friend from HS was in the Security Forces, and was stationed at DaNang while I was in country. I stopped in to visit one day while en-route from the field to our Division cantonment. He showed my wife a picture he had taken of that event, I’m there, looking like Rambo (I had been on top of a mountain for 2 months), and he was there in his (I swear starched) BDU’s. My wife made a comment on the very apparent difference. My friend told her, that they depended on us to be their first line of defense and because of that they could afford to relax.
LOL…you are exactly right Farva. When I was @ Hill AFB back in ’96, I watched a guy get pulled out of a peice of snow removal equipment (if you never seen one, the cabs are about 8-9 ft off the ground) and “slammed” face first into the snow with two M-16a’s pointed to the back of his head. The operator had no clue what he did wrong. Later to find out he “broke red” without notifying base ops. Keep in mind the ground is covered in snow and you cannot see the line. Regardless he learned his lesson and that became the next days “safety brief”.
My most interesting encounter with SF’s: I was working on an aircraft ground test with several of my co-workers, and a cop car drove up and stopped. Two airmen with M4′s got out and asked me two things: 1) “We need to see everybody’s ID’s.” 2) “Have you seen a Mexican wearing a wife-beater and no line badge?”
One of those questions that makes you say “WTF?” and “Man, I’m glad I’m not on the receiving end of THAT shitstorm . . .”
The bad: I was still under two year’s TIS and was working aerovac at Fairchild. We go out to the line to meet the C9 and there was an exercise running. I had my line badge, but when we got to the ECP the SP challenged me with the “pass code of the day”. I had no clue what he was talking about, so he took my line badge, showed me a couple numbers on it, and said “That’s it, have a nice day” and waved us through.
The good, at least from my viewpoint: Working aerovac as an E3 I had to deal with all sorts of cranky passengers ranging from E6- O7. The crankiest were the ones that had been told they could not smoke on the vehicle out there, while on the line, or in the C9. The really cranky ones would insist that they were on the flight line, there was plenty of fresh air, so they should be able to smoke. To this day if you ask me where the smoking area was on the flightline I will gladly state that it is anywhere on the other side of the red line. This concept was a source of never ending amusement for me.
When I was on the flightline we almost jacked up a cop on the flightline. We saw a guy skulking around our wing jet and 12 of us started walking out there. He saw us and ran! Ran almost into another group of maintainers. **lol** We had him just about cornered and then a cop truck showed up and told us to leave him alone. They were doing an exercise and they were afraid we were going to dog pile on the guy. **lmao**
Actually we love it when other people take an interest in base security too instead of ignoring things. We did an exercise late one night on the flight line where when we got off our shift, we had some drinks and went back and played opfor for the midshift flight, and we were dressing in black (…we maybe forgot to tell the maintainers working late about this), so about 7 guys jump the flight line fence and are running up and down the ramp trying to reach the resources, most of us have been cornered by the on-duty flight but my friend Lewis ducks into an open hanger door as a Tahoe goes flying past with its light bar blazing, lo and behold these two maintainers slowly stand up from whatever they were working on, grab some ridiculously big damn wrenches and say “hey buddy”, well, Lewis takes off down the ramp chasing the Tahoe that was chasing him while being chased! It was great!
Lol Epic!!!
Thanks for the SF love Farva! One of my greatest experiences as an Airman on the flightline at Andrews was getting to tackle an Lt. from behind when he thought he could ignore a lawful order from a SrA– right before two other Airman both smashed into him from the front, we went down in huge tangle of fist, elbows, handcuffs and legs and at the end of the day this Lt. got his butt ripped up by his Col. Our Commander was so proud of us.
Haha Yes! It was always one of the small pleasures of the job to do that. Silly Lt, gun beats bars when you cross the magic red line…
Reminds me of one thing…
Boot to the head!
Like to see the SF comics! Nice to see there’s love for use somewhere out there in the AF world lol.
I’m guessing that either Barbie’s repressing the last encounter with CSAR OR perhaps there’s a DICKI inhibition, STS.
Farva: EXCELLENT work on today’s Mildenhall Box D Blues
Awesome Farva! Reminds me of BAF in ’07. Pilots thought they didn’t have to use the ECP… a 240 with a fire team sure changed thier minds of that…
During an exercise at a very cold base, the OG/CC wanted to “test the SF” so he broke red on purpose. They passed the test and seemed to enjoy it. The crewdogs were all lined up at the chowhall window overlooking the APA yelling “Shoot him!” Alas, they didn’t.
Spot on Box D.
That’s funny! When I was in augmentee training, our trainer was telling us how he, as an A1C, took down this Col that crossed his red line. He said the whole time he had the Col down, he was yelling, “Your two stripes are mine…” and etc. The SP’s Squadron CC and the Wing CC arrived at the scene and he thought for sure he was in trouble and starts telling his CC what happened and the next thing he knew, the Wing King was going OFF on the Col!! HAHA…awesome!
Heh… If USAF security is anything like the RAF Regiment, he did enjoy it. A lot.
LMAO
Man…15 years working the line and I have some trult awsome memories of our SF’s.
1. She was a very pretty girl, 1 stripe, and tried SO hard to do everything by the book. We used to come up to the gate and when she would ask to see everyone’s badge we would all get out lineup and show our badges. Well one day there was about 12-15 ofus in one truck, yeah it was a cramped run to the line what can I say we worked Pigs, we tried to get out andit looked like an exploding clown car! Scared her so bad she dropped her 16 and the clip fell out, .223 everywhere, we al scrambled to pick everything up before she got into trouble, picture a butch of ratty/greasy ramp rats scrambleing on all fours to grab the ammo and she’s just standing there, almost in tears, trying to hold her “tough SF” face.
2. And the great one, an SF ran over to a O-7 at the crew door to a EC-130, no warning and grabbed his shoulder, the over the shoulder judo throw was text book, the landing against the side of the plane wasn’t, the poor SF went to the hospital with a concussion after meekly explaining the O-7 was his Uncle. They hadn’t seen each other in 12 years. He did visit him in the hospital.