Folks, I sincerely apologize for the downtime the site has been experiencing lately. I apologize because there’s seemingly not a damn thing we can do about it. It’s our hosting site, and I’m trying to resolve it without completely bankrupting the site, especially considering a few projects I’m working on while deployed.
Speaking of both extra projects and being deployed, if you have good, crazy deployment stories, shoot ‘em my way. They may be used in either an AFBlues spinoff or the current Air Force Toons (AFTimes) story arc, with due credit, of course.
-Farva
Can you do one involving the local water that you’re not supposed to drink? I was deployed with someone that ate some of the ice that was used to keep the bottled water cold. It wasn’t pretty.
I think it was during that same deployment when another person took some Viagra…
Remember, when in a field full of stacks of white rocks, don’t decide to hit golf balls at them. They like to go BOOM!
My commander wanted to build a pool area with a deck, and he had a bunch of people out there, but suddenly it was only me and my buddy building the whole thing. (we were airman at the time) and once it was all done, everyone came out and plopped down in the sun. it was quite annoying.
I worked pre-deployment for the Guard (when I was working for the state) back in 2007. Besides the fact that in central California temperatures dropped to 17F at noon at the SRP site, we had a series of jokes we would use to wake soldiers up. Mind you, I was working final QA on medical paperwork since the system was only partly online at the time. With it that cold and since only those working the site could only leave at designated times, it became necessary to get their attention (and keep us focused to make sure we didn’t miss anything). It was an infantry unit we were processing, so since it was all-male, it was normal for us to ask if they were pregnant or had their most recent pap-smear completed. Some got the joke, others took a moment to get it, and the rest were just frozen from the cold and all the mind-numbing paperwork they’d endured all day. I still can’t get over how cold it was 4 years later…and I’m a native of California…
In March of 2010 at Bagram AB, I was working as a TCN escort. One of the Turkish delivery planes came in for a landing, and the left landing gear crapped out and the plane screamed down the runway, half of it on fire. I was about 600 feet away from the runway edge when this happened, and jumped out of our breadvan with my gun, running towards it. I got about 100 feet and thought, “Wait, what the hell am I going to do when I get there?”
Not really a story but I just wanted to let you know your comic is awesome! It helped me make it through my last deployment and it is now helping with the current one. Also, if you came through manas, there is probably a 90% chance I put fuel on the plane you came in/left on. anyways, good luck with your deployment and thanks for the awesome comic.
Hey, isn’t the title a line from the Beastie Boys song “Paul Revere”? Odd thing to notice, I know. One of those nights…
Indeed.
good catch.
GAH! Earwormed! Stared at the ceiling until about 3am with that song stuck in my head. Gonna have to dig the cd out now.
When a local cadet unit was doing what we call a ranger weekend, I was going to play one of the injured party, well the stretcher didnt have anything to secure me so the group tied me up, keep in mind that i was the youngest and still an airman, and that these were all cadet staff sargeants and above, they humped me down the camp site where they all left me, except this lets say for antonymous state a older teen age girl, she begin to untie me then she said close to my ear , I bet you like being tied up and i felt hands moving to where the sun didnt shine, well that is all iam going to say , for several peoples protection i cant say anymore , it was fun though
OK, as a CFI, I feel obligated to report Barbie’s intentions to TSA and DHS!!!
Better off with the AMA, methinks.
Best story I have was when I was perfoming fly-away security in Iraq. My partner and I get off the plane for the ERO, I keep checking back for the status of the C-130.
Look back: pax off loading
Look: baggage off loading
Look: loading new pax
Look: loading new baggage
Look: Door shutting.
My reaction: Yell over the engine noise, “HEY! You forget something?!”
Door opens. The loadmaster who didn’t shut the door on us gave me permission to shoot the other guy in the foot.
Back in the early days of Enduring freedom while being deployed to Jacobabad(spelling) I was with a CSAR squadron. I was walking back from the pathetic little BX to tent city when my buddy and I watched a predator fall out of the sky and smash into the ground probably about a 1/4 to 1/2 mile from the tents. While not funny in itself, what made it great was watch the PJs take off like they were going to save someone. We just laughed.
With so many stories, it’s hard to pick just one. While up in northern Iraq in ’05, I was working as the SOG on night shift. I got a call on the radio to go out to tower 5 on the perimeter. What had happened was two KBR guys got hammered on some whiskey, and drove their little car almost into my our tower. The Army SOG was closer, so he gave chase. They went dune-hopping, and the Army SOG used his HMMWV to spin them out. They were both taken into the TOC. One guy thought he could be invisible and get away if he took off all his clothes and streak out of there. He was tackled in the hallway, and hog-tied with zip ties. We were told, “This didn’t happen!” Guess what? It sure did.
You don’t need to apologize for anything. If your hobby means free entertainment for us, that’s awesome, but you don’t owe us anything.
Thank you.
This one is recent, as in two weeks ago. I got off work in the morning and changed into some PT gear and grabbed my shower stuff; towel, shave kit, etc. and headed off to the newly refurbished shower trailer. Set my stuff down on the bench outside my shower stall like I have for the past 4 months and showered. Jumped out to dry off and low and behold ALL my cloths are gone! Even my underwear. I Looked around the trailer to make sure none of my buddies were messing with me. I didn’t find my cloths. So with no other options left to me, I tightened the towel around my waist, grabbed my shave kit that the thief had so graciously left me and walked back to my tent…in nothing but a towel. I was stopped by three different people on the way. Got back to the tent and pulled out some more PT gear and walked up to BDOC to report the thieft. SF couldn’t help but laugh at my story, which at the time really pissed me off since I was still angry about my stuff being swiped. Once the anger wore off I got over the whole thing and now it’s just a funny story to tell unless I ever meet/catch the dude that stole my cloths because then I going to have to kick his ass…then take his cloths.
On 2 month C-130 rotation out of Little Rock to Mildenhal, late 75, we had a long crew day flying support for NATO and ended up in Brussls at the end of our crew day. We RON’d and the BAF took care of us and put us up at the Hotel Metropole. Fancy. Us 3 enlisted dogs (me and 2 loads) got to share a very nice room. Young loady saw his first bidet and asked what that was. Told him I wasn’t sure but check it out. Well when he knelt down and leaned over to check it out, someone, ah, activated the bidet. Nice intro to a bidet.
On my deployment to Turkey in 2008, one of the Lt’s got into a SoCo drinking contest with one of the loadmasters. Well a few hours later he laying on the ground kicking dirt and singing Free Bird (he was also wearing a Lynyrd Skynyrd tee). Then it was like vultures coming at a dead rabbit. The loadmasters and some of the pilots surrounded him as he had passed out on the ground and started taking video of a very drunk A1C pouring beer on his crouch. After that they stuck a doll that sung in turkish (they named the doll candy) under his arms and took more pictures. For the rest of the deployment his nickname was Lt Candy and the intel office showed the video of him having beer poured on him before every intel brief for the rest of the deployment. He stopped drinking after that mostly cause the loadmasters in the back office started to carry clippers with them and threaten to shave off his eyebrows if he ever got that drunk again.
well, there’s one just last month for me… involves doing yoga which is inhumane, but there’s a group of us doing p90x yoga every day. now, normally i’m in the back and trying to do these bendy poses and i just happen to look up where this navy guy had this HUGE strap across his lower back. i had to blink my eyes a bit since they were burning but i swore i saw thongs but found out it was his crack. now, i’ve never seen a jock strap but holy monkeyballz…there it was in front of me in full view. that’s when i started doing my poses and all in the front of the class instead of the back. i see him everyday now. i’m scared.
http://www.afblues.com/wordpress/2009/03/13/03132009/
How about a talc bomb?