Even as someone in Public Affairs, I hate AFN. I can’t even concede points to them for providing entertainment to troops overseas because a) I’m in an English-speaking country and have satellite TV, b) I never watched it while deployed because I had a DVD player and the internet and c) I have NFL Game Pass. Our AFN box was turned on for the first time in more than a year last night so Kaitie could watch the Steelers get their asses handed to them by the ratbirds (my computer was occupied by the *Texans game), and while many of you have experienced the pure, unfiltered suckage that is AFN commercials, for those who haven’t, words can’t describe how genuinely bad the shit they come up with is. Seriously, stateside daytime TV advertisements for online community colleges and personal injury lawyers are better than this crap. Consider yourself blessed.
-Farva
*I’ll pass on the shit talking – it really wouldn’t feel right – and wish Peyton Manning a speedy recovery. Of course, when your team has never been to the playoffs, any win against another team in your conference is reason for celebration. Go Houston!
I don’t know some of the community college commercials are unimaginably bad.
As someone who just came home from across the pond, I salute you. If someone asked me how the programming was, I would verbally tell them what I would rather do, but you illustrated it so eloquently. Well done sir.
Yeah, AFN might have really bad ads for colleges, and whatever, but at least today, the programming is current. When I was o’seas in the late ’50′s, and mid ’70s, most of what we had to watch was B/W reruns of really olde stuff. In fact, I was seeing the same stuff in Japan in the ’70s that I watched in Newfoundland in the ’50s. When that’s your only English language channel (Japan), you watch what’s available.
Say what? My dad was stationed on Okinawa between ’64 and ’68 and AFRTS ROCKED. You don’t know TV until you’ve watched obscure stuff from the ’50s. And the ads? Heck, I was 10 and ready to re-up! Japanese TV?? The original Astro Boy in Japanese? What could be better? Ahhh…the memories. (that and benjo ditches running through the local movie house).
Haven’t ever watched AFN TV, or much of any other TV lately, nor do I even own a TV set currently, and that’s just fine by me. I don’t even listen to radio much but I did grow up in a non-English-speaking country within reach of an AFN radio station, and I actually have somewhat fond memories of that.
The commercials were horky and quaint but weren’t trying to sell me things in over-the-top loud voices and instead spouted sensible-sounding advice. Of course the fact I was a local helps there.
Though there were an afwul lot of requests and every single last one of them was for “Paint It Black”. I think that amounted to at least half the playlist. Curious, that.
Looks like Captain Tagon’s Great-Great-Great-Great-Great(repeat Ad Nauseum) Grandfather was in the Air Force.
I’m with NavyDave…..70′s and 80′s, was either b/w from the 50′s or shows about 3 years behind the rest of the world….
Man, I am totally with you. Those commercials were horrible.My 4 year old can write better commercials, and she runs around the house thinking she is a different Disney character every day.
I swear, they do such a good job portraying the military in a bad light, if someone were to watch them they’d swear that we’re all drunk-driving thieves and rapists from some of the infomercials…
Admittedly, they are bad. But, they’re being produced by DINFOS grads. Have you READ the lesson plans that are written there?? It’s a miracle that there are actual images on your screen!
The commercials wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t loop. I’ll admit a lot are cheesy but that’s what you get with lowest bidders. However that’s no excuse to have the same commercial show up six times in three hours.
Honestly if they could just get record companies to allow their music to be played on the air as commercials that’d make it so much more tolerable. Instead of learning about being ready to deploy while I’m in Afghanistan they could play a song instead.
Remember – “Don’t rock the vending machines!!!!”
Far as I know… no AAFES commercials on AFN. Now, THAT would be torture!!!!
IMHO.
AFN: Brought to you by the same people who enforce reflective belt & PT gear wear.
I’ve been stateside since ’04, so I’d all but forgotten what a shitfest AFN was…this strip nailed it LOL
me: did i just watch a commercial promoting being a good roommate?
my pilot: yup. you’re an idiot.
At least you’re in England…? >.> I wish I had gone there.
The absolute worst are the Super Bowl commercials. I really would do this if I have to sit through another SB on AFN.
I remember AFN in Germany when they were excited about Gunsmoke coming onthe network (STS). Must have been ’78ish. They started with Season 1 Episode 1, which aired in ’55.
IIRC, AFN used to have a policy that anyone could make a commercial.
Remember, in Germany trains are _fast_,_silent_, and _deadly_….
I left Germany on New Years Eve 1995 and that commercial still echoes through my head.
It’s still on the air over here.
See farva, just think of the great memories you will still remember 15-20 years down the road that gAyFN will give you.
Like most Air Force agencies (ie: AAFES), AFN thinks they are pretty great and provide quality stuff…so much so they have their own YouTube channel where you can see some of their “high quality” commercials (great way for someone who has never been tortured with AFN commercials to learn about them….also a great punishment for Airmen who need motivation to work cuz after a few hours of having to watch them they are ready to get to work and work hard
)
I’ve won quite a few arguments with the brother in laws about obscure facts thanks to AFN. Patents, mess halls, Howling Mad Smith, etc.
I hated the local commercials though, one in Ramstein several years ago had someone with crooked sunglasses on, and that just irritated the heck out of me so much that I can’t even remember what the commercial was really about.
I’m sorry but I loved the OPSEC Squekers the Mouse commericals. Those truly were awesomely bad enough to love.
“besides, when you’re as pretty as I am, you gotta protect your assets”
oh how those commercials remind me of Incirlik AB Turkey
That made me laugh every time it came on.
You know, You’re 100% right, except for one time when you’re 100% wrong.
I know, I know, you’re thinking, “How the hell can you prefer to watch AFN Commercials”
2 words:
Election season
Seriously, after a year in Korea, I forgot how much I detested the mud-slinging “I’m better than so and so” “vote for me, I don’t kill babies” “vote for me, I kill babies” and other CRAP that is on during elections… I was GLAD to go to Iraq and get away from them…
…and yes, I am now filling out a sick call slip to get sent to the 6th floor of Womack.
Just a few more days… Just a few more days. Then I’ll be out of this undisclosed location and be free from AFN for another year.
I spent two years in Aviano and was overjoyed when I found real commercials again. I’m convinced suicide rates would drop if they took away AFN commercials.
You know the commercials are bad when the biggest draw to watching the Super Bowl at Kunsan’s enlisted club wasn’t the Super Bowl itself but the fact that they were piping it in from the states and had “REAL COMMERCIALS” (which got bigger cheers than the game itself).
Can’t address today’s AFN, but, and I can’t remember much in the way of programming from the 70′s, but after spending 70-71 in RVN, I do remember Roller Derby, Roller Derby, Roller Derby, Roller Derby, Roller Derby, something short, Roller Derby, Roller Derby, ad nausium (spelling sucks).
Yeah, Germany 86-88, AFN Commercials = propaganda at it’s best (Don’t steal gov’t pens), just plain garbage at it’s worse!!!
Yeah, as a HUGE Colts fan, I appreciate the “no trash talking” and am VERY sad to say, the Colts are in trouble this year!!
State Capital Quizzes!!! Awesome!! (not sure how to do sarcasm through message boards yet)